Let’s all be honest with each other. We watch The Bachelor for one reason, and one reason only. And that reason is Osher Gunsberg. But this year’s Bachie is giving old Osh a run for his money. Affectionately known as “Male Sophie Monk”, Nick ‘The Honey Badger’ Cummins is an ex-NRL player, has the moustache of our dreams and is this year’s chosen Bachelor.
Cummins is not only known for his expansive NRL career and stellar facial hair and mop. He is known for sharing some pretty profound words of wisdom post- footy match. You haven’t met a true blue, you beauty, 15/10 bogan until you’ve met this Bachelor. And if you’ve never heard him speak before, we know it can be pretty confusing.
Here’s your guide to understanding our favourite Honey Badger Bachie:
- “Sweating like a gypsy with a mortgage”: This means that you’re super nervous about something. Like Kayla when she realised that jumping in the pool was, shockingly, not a good idea.
- “Going off like a cut snake”: This simply means to be hysterical about something. It can be good or bad (although we’re not sure we’d want to be around a real cut snake). Imagine Osher trying to take off his blazer after, once again, ordering it 3 sizes too small.
- “Mad as a tree full of Galahs”: Someone who is determined, a little crazy, or ready for a fight. Vanessa Sunshine in a nutshell.
- “Let’s have a yarn”: “Here’s my attempt at chatting up this girl, let’s see how quickly we can get her to see just how confusing I am to understand.”
- “Holy Moses”: “What the hell have I gotten myself into and how quickly can I get out of here.”
- “Busier than a one-armed bricklayer in Baghdad with an itch”: Honestly? Not a clue. Not even one.
- “Like a rat up a drain pipe”: All the girls in the mansion when the tray of champers is carried out.
- “Patience of the Dalai Lama”: To be centred and patient, like renowned Buddhist monk, the Dalai Lama. You know when the girls sit quietly and wait for the recipient of the first date to be announced? Not that.
Clearly, Badge is no Albert Einstein. We’re not going to be hearing many profound statements from our new Bachie anytime soon. What this season of the Bachelor does promise is a whole lot of drama, and a whole lot of Osher. Bring it on!
Check out some of The Honey Badger’s best moments here.