That first year of your relationship is a beautiful time of getting to know each other and falling in love. But in this process it is easy to lose yourself, stop seeing friends and simply letting love consume you. Nothing about what I just described is a healthy attitude towards your relationship yet it is a trap that too many of us fall into when we are busy falling in love. So here is a step by step to get you through that first year with your friendships and sense of self still intact.
MAKE TIME FOR YOUR FRIENDS! This is the key to keeping those relationships rolling. I know I know, you want to spend all day everyday with your new love; they are the shiny toy you got for Christmas and it is just too much fun. But just as the child version of you, you would have played with the other toys and invited them over for a tea party with your new teddy the adult version of you has to remain an active participant in the friendship. Try set up a recurring girls night or a guys night where it is time to hang out exclusively with your friends. If this is not possible then check in regularly. Come on people, we live in the Internet age, send them weird gifs, call them or text them emoji essays just let them know you are thinking of them even in your blissed out state of love.
YOUR PARTNER IS NOT A HANDBAG they do not need to attend every event with you. There is nothing worse then rocking up to your girlfriend’s house for what was meant to be you hanging out and unwittingly walking into the role of resident third wheel for the night. This also goes for always bringing your partner along to group events if no one else is bringing their partner don’t be the one who does. Nothing will strain your friendships faster then the partner who you bring out more then your favourite bag.
BE AN INTERESTING HUMAN. Make the effort to talk about more then your relationship. Believe it or not, your friends will probably not want to hear about your partner’s weird habits or what the two of you watched on Netflix at every conversation (or ever for that matter). Unless you need advice, a vent or are asked, leave the boyfriend talk to a minimum and get back to important things like who won the Oscars and how on point your squad looks.
Just remember friendship is basically tennis if you don’t show up to hit the ball back, it ends pretty swiftly…take it from someone who knows nothing about tennis if I understand that sports metaphor it is ih obvious.
