In the past, intentions were clear. Introductions were made, conversations were had. If the interaction was mutually agreeable perhaps you would organise to meet up again, to get to know each other, to go on a date. Today’s playing field is an entirely different ball game. From Tinder to WhatsApp, Instagram to eHarmony, the opportunity for interaction is boundless and at times, equally ambiguous.
Soon we will long for the days when a simple exchange of numbers signified a mutual attraction and willingness to pursue something more…
Before the Internet we were limited in our capacity to connect, now we have the world at our fingertips. This is an incredible feat and one that should be championed, however we must also be wary, because technology is changing the way we interrelate and if you are not careful, you might get yourself in a pickle.
Previously, in order to connect with someone, you had a limited choice of methods, namely mail, telephone or face-to-face. Today is a very different story. No longer does an individual have to face the daunting task of ‘asking for your number’, instead they can make contact with you on any number of platforms or applications, each of which facilitate this previously unprecedented communication, while simultaneously reducing the chance of rejection.
Some platforms, such as Tinder and eHarmony, make it simple. Users intentions are apparent, clearly stated and evident. Others such as Facebook are less obvious – and this is where the water gets murky.
Has the polite and unassuming ‘Facebook add’ effectively bypassed the act of asking for someone’s number? Is this unassuming gesture changing the rules of courting? When I click ‘accept’ on a friend request am I effectively giving you permission to contact me, message me, call me? Am I essentially giving you an all access pass to my digital self? Am I signifying that I am interested?
Is the use of Facebook Messenger subverting our choice to say, “No – I’m not interested” “No – I don’t want to give you my number”?
The seemingly harmless act of ‘accepting a friend request’ is something to carefully consider, if you wouldn’t give a person your mobile number, why would you give them complete access to your online history, your digital identity? Why give them the ability to contact you anytime, anywhere? Why give them access to your past, present and future?
Should we perhaps stop for a moment and reconsider the connotations of the ‘Facebook Friend’ and the potentially misleading intentions of the unassuming user.
