It happens to every single one of us at least once, you’re having a great night and then next thing you know you’re doing tequila shots off some random person’s stomach, and then somehow in a bathroom hunched over a toilet. Drinking too much is essentially a rite of passage, and there are certain stages of the process which are identifiable to everyone.
When your friends tell you to slow down.
So you’ve had a couple drinks, you’re having fun, probably yelling about something, so your friends tell you maybe you should take a break for a while. How dare they? Who do they think they are? You don’t need their help, dammit. They’re right, and you know it, but you don’t care.
Really inappropriate flirting.
Someone is looking at you, oh, better get sexual. Time to make some incredibly uncomfortable motions with my hands. Is my tongue out? Oh, yeah, probably. Good.
Crying.
There’s no reason for you to be this way. A moment ago, you were dancing and having the best time of your life, and now your in a corner and everything is ruined and why are you crying again?
The end of the night feed.
Sore feet, sweaty clothes, the distinct stench of alcohol, and at this point all you can think about is food. Preferably greasy, definitely unhealthy, Maccas is always a good option, but it doesn’t really matter as long as ‘drunk you’ gets that food.
The end of the night feed, but opposite.
You probably shouldn’t have eaten that whole kebab to yourself in 5 minutes, but now it’s on the ground in vomit form and you’re crying and people are definitely judging you.
Drink responsibly kiddos (or don’t, we don’t really care).
