Osher is finally getting back to his full-time job of presenting date cards and disappointing Cass by giving a second single date to Brittany. Nick and Brittany head off on their date to hang with pythons and snakes and the subtlety is… not quite there. The whole date seems like a set up for Nick to make jokes about his “snake” and after the first joke, we get the point.
Then, they move on to feeding a crocodile. While there are no innuendos in crocodiles, this is probably the point where Britt should ask herself, is a rose really worth getting my hand bitten off?
Next, Nick and Britt go for dinner inside a wallaby sanctuary. Nick reminisces with his old mates before settling in for a life chat with Britt. They find out how much in common they have. They both want to travel before settling into a life in Byron. Fortunately for them, if it does not work out between each other, they can meet one of the other million Australians who have that exact same life plan.
Now comes a group date in the form of a human lie detector test. Former FBI profiler, Steve, has made the trek to Mosman to test the girls and give Nick feedback on who may or may not be telling him the truth. Although, I cannot help but wonder if he is spending a larger portion of his time wondering how he got here. As in, how did he go from investigating hardcore criminals for the Australian government to telling a former rugby player whether or not a twenty-three year old girl is a good match for him.
Mostly, FBI Steve just pointed out very obvious facts like Cass is infatuated with Nick and Brooke is an emotional person after she was literally crying right in front of him. Just for reference, the salary of an FBI profiler is $155,000 a year. If I can get $155,000 a year to state the obvious then sign me up. I think I found myself a career as an FBI profiler.
Brooke, emotional all day, needs to tell Nick something huge. Clearly, FBI Steve has her flustered and the only rationale explanation is she is on the run as Australia’s Most Wanted. I mean, the previews teased a “bombshell” so I am, indeed, expecting a “bombshell.”
Nervously, she pulls him aside and here we go, I am ready for FBI Steve to pull her away in handcuffs. However, she tells him that she was in four relationships… in her life… one with a guy for 3 years… and 2 with… wait for it… women.
Nick seems all but disappointed. He is flustered to say the least, as he starts spewing words about souls and the universe and honestly, who else knows. Basically, he is trying to tell her he understands. And why wouldn’t he? Because not only is it 100% okay that she’s dated women, but he also does not have a right to speak about her past, present, or future choices.
The saddest part in all of this was that she felt she needed to undermine her past to him by saying things like “but I am more attracted to men” or “I am not bisexual.” Being Australia’s Most Wanted or going to jail for tax evasion would have classified itself as “bombshell” news. Dating women previously? Not “bombshell” news. Not even news.
Deanna “the Intruder” goes home and no one, not even her, really cares because she was never included in your office pool anyway. More The Bachelor is on tonight, Channel Ten at 7:30pm.
