It’s rare to come across a person who genuinely enjoys the arduous task of moving house. Not only is it a physically and emotionally draining mission, but what’s more, it forces you to deal with the things that you have quite literally been sweeping under the mat, under the bed or into the spare room for the duration of your stay.
On a day-to-day basis you can usually get away with it, it’s not that obvious. However, the act of moving house truly brings your hoarding issues to the forefront of everyone’s attention. Your piles of junk are on display for the entire street to see and as you lug the So Fresh Hits of Summer CD’s to the back of your car you begin to think that now is a good time to look into that ‘spring clean’ thing you have heard so much about.
You are really not that messy, you shower daily, wash your clothes at least once a week and change your bed sheets…often enough. The house looks clean, even your mum seems surprised when she visits. However, as soon as its time to move you find dirt, grime and scum in places you didn’t even know existed. You find cobwebs in spaces where a spider could not possibly survive, you sweep up enough dust to stuff a plush toy and you find scuffmarks on the walls at heights impossible to reach. You want to pay someone else to do the dirty work but the cleaner quotes you $400. Tell him he’s dreamin’
At the time it seemed like a good investment but now you are not so sure, you only have limited space left in the Kia and you are beginning to question why you bought so so many antique mugs from the op shop last month (you don’t drink tea and you don’t have that many friends, who were you kidding). As the move progresses you become an unstable, unpredictable and heartless culling machine, determining the fate of valuables based solely upon what will or will not fit in the boxes or what you are willing to carry down the flight of stairs. Fridges – who needs ‘em.
Past You: “I love apartments” “The Top Floor has the best view” “the stairs are a good workout” “I definitely need all this furniture”.
Enter Future You: “I hate apartments” “The elevator is broken again” “How am I meant to carry all this down the stairs”, “Why the hell do I need 4 lounges and a futon”.
