So we have all heard the narrative of “we just have a really passionate relationship like we either love each other or we hate each other” Today I am going to tell you that this narrative does not have to be more than simply a story. You can have passion and love without hate, your relationship does not need to be tumultuous to be good in fact quite the opposite here is a step by step on finding the mellow side of your relationship and leaving the rollercoasters behind.
PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES.
This right here is the key to a chilled out relationship free of the drama. Many fights have started simply because one of us forgot to think about the other. By this I mean you made plans without asking, said something without thinking how it would make the other feel or are just basically being self-absorbed a$$holes. The key to avoiding unnecessary arguments is taking a step back before going gang bust a’s on your other half and thinking about why they feel they way they feel. It is normally pretty simple I am not a mind reader (yet anyway) so I’ll leave it up to you to do the guesswork because you know your partner, but it can be as simple as they are tired, hungry or you didn’t ask about their day, basically, just be a considerate f#*%er and approximately 99.9% of your fights will cease to occur.
ASK YOURSELF IF IT IS WORTH IT
Is this thing you are about to fight over really worth it? If it is the first time offence of dishes being left out or your partner taking 7 seconds longer then you would like to reply to your question about what they ate that day the answer should be NO. I mean if it isn’t then you may as well stop reading because I don’t have the tertiary qualifications necessary to save you from your narcissist ways. But if you are semi-sane then just take a quick deep breath like they taught you when you were learning anger management as a 6-year-old throwing tantrums and have a think. Do I need to start this fight? Where will it get me? Will I feel better or worse? If the answer is no leave it there stop the fight before it starts and go back to being a mellow cello marshmallow human thing.
CHOOSE LOVE
Well, that sounds corny and cheesy as f@ck, like I mean come on that is the kind of thing that some eat pray love rip off writes. But choose the hell out of the L O V E because you have to if you want to stay in love. It is a choice every day and you either make it or you don’t. So when there is a fight that could be hell about to break loose on earth just bring out your inner Buddha and remember that if you don’t want to lose this person then don’t sweat the small stuff or the unnecessary stuff only the big huge GTFO stuff.
