Even though we have the best summers down here in Oz (#blessed), sometimes it can be like navigating through hell. Whether you spent your childhood convincing your teacher to send you home in the 40 degree heat, or you cooled down by trying to fit inside the freezer (sorry mum), we’ve all been there. Here are the serious struggles that every Aussie knows come with the fun times of summer.
The family fan
You know the one. Your parents didn’t spring for air con, so you spent your days fighting over who got to sit in front of the shitty family fan. And every so often, all hell broke loose when someone – in a heat induced rage – would relocate it to their bedroom. Meanwhile, the rest of the family was left to fend death off by themselves. Good times.
Walking on the scorching hot sand
You’ve been dying to hit the beach all day, and you’re finally there. But one step on the sand and you REGRET your entire life. If you were one of the lucky ones, you had thongs to protect you. Otherwise, you had no choice but to throw your towel on the ground and take refuge every few metres. If you had neither, RIP.
Hot seat belts
You thought you finally escaped the heat. You jumped in the car, breathed a sigh of relief and happily reached for your seatbelt (because safety). BIG mistake. The metal part was as hot as a freaking oven, and you wouldn’t be surprised if your fingers suddenly started sprouting blisters. And no matter how many times it happened, you just kept doing it over and over… and over again.
‘iPhone needs to cool down before you can use it’
Possibly the most annoying thing ever. You thought you could catch some rays, but now even your phone’s suffering from heat stroke, and you’re bored as hell. You can’t live your life without documenting your every move, so you just head back inside after about five minutes. It was a solid effort, though.
Sweating and sticking to the chair
Ugh. How do you get out of your seat without people noticing the sweat? It’s dripping down your face as you’re trying to get an ice cream and hoping you don’t see anyone you know. In the heat of Aussie summer, the sweat struggle is 100% there and very real.
Weather that can’t make up its mind
Will it rain this morning and then suddenly skyrocket to 45 degrees? Probably. Will it begin hailing halfway through the day but then turn sunny again? Most likely. Can you expect wind, a storm and possibly even a flood? You betcha. Prepare for everything.
Did you want that burger? Well, too bad. It’s been taken hostage by a family of flies, and they couldn’t care less. All they care about is hovering over you in the most irritating way while rubbing their tiny little hands together in glee. And don’t even try applying Aeorogard because the little bastards will only take it as a challenge.